Learning through Motherhood....

Here's a little glimpse of our "crazy" week....

While the twins were supposed to be napping, Lauren decides to climb up to Lily's bunk and BITE her in the back - clearly a round circle that was already starting to bruise.  We have a biting problem.

While Landon was at music practice last night, I sat on the couch from 6:30 - 7:30 disciplining kids for fighting, whining, biting and screaming.  I decided that before I lost my sanity I should probably put them to bed early.  Distraught after a long day I sat in my bed eating M&M's while sobbing.  Thankfully Landon wasn't home for that one...he sees enough drama and tears.

I set my alarm clock this morning for 5:30 and didn't even hear it until 5:42.  Rascal Flatts sang to me for 12 minutes straight.  Thankfully I wore my "workout outfit" to bed so I could go straight to Walmart with crazy hair and no makeup.  I'm such a planner.  Yes, I'm that desperate to go to the store before Landon goes to work so I can avoid taking the kids. 

I got home just in time to watch Landon leave our room for work.  Half dressed.  And then I remembered our load of clean laundry that has been sitting in the dryer for two days.  And I smile (and cry a little bit) because I realize that I have an amazing husband that doesn't even care.  He just digs out something (now wrinkled) from the dryer and heads to work.  And then texts me later this morning and tells me I'm awesome (?!?!?). 

When I think of adding a fourth lately, I get a little overwhelmed.  Then I laugh at this line from Jim Gaffigan:

"Want to know what it's like to have a fourth?  Just imagine you are drowning, and them someone hands you a baby...."

So funny, but seriously how I feel these days.  If you need a laugh, you should click on his name...it will take you to a video clip.  

This morning, I picked up "Out of the Spin Cycle" by Jen Hatmaker and started reading one of my favorite chapters (Chapter 7, in case you have the book)

"Motherhood is like a pitcher with a whole in the bottom: a constant drain on our energy, patience, and tolerance. If nothing good is stored up, where are we possibly going to draw patience?  Grace?  Longsuffering?  young motherhood is too demanding to attempt without a deep connection to Christ."

{photo via pinterest}

As I was praying this morning, I remembered the sweet couple that lost their baby girl yesterday.  The family whose baby boy is struggling in the hospital and needs a heart transplant.  Sweet Rosalie who is still sleeping.  It really puts things into perspective for me.  Regardless of how badly my days go, I still have three sweet babies to tuck into bed, to bathe, to laugh with, and to discipline. I can wake up to three, beautiful, sweet (sometimes naughty) girls.  They need Jesus, but most of all they need to see a mommy who strives to be like Jesus.  I need to put good in, and good will flow out.  I become thankful....thankful for the great opportunity God has given me to be a mother.  Thankful for these hard times, where He teaches me that He is enough.

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
II Corinthians 12:9

What Really Matters

{image via pinterest}

I've been thinking a lot the last couple weeks about what REALLY matters.  It's so easy to get caught up in the things of the world.  It is so easy as a woman to get caught up in Pinterest, Blogs, Facebook and Instagram.  Whether we realize it or not, these amazing technologies can have a negative effect on our thinking and our hearts.  For me, I begin to compare myself to others, feel inadequate, question myself as a mother, and feel like I need to be doing "more".  The last couple weeks the sermons at church have really had an impact on changing the way I think about these things.  

I wrote a little bit about the sermon on prayer a couple weeks ago.  I decided that instead of checking my phone first thing in the morning for emails, facebook, instagram notifications....I would go to my closet every morning and start my day with prayer.  It's amazing how it has already transformed my thought life and my relationships.  

This week the pastor spoke on the church of Laodicea and their lukewarmness.  With all the tornados that have occurred in our area, He brought up such an important question.  If I lost everything, would I still have everything?  How many things do I have that don't matter?  Where is my identity found?  My identity in Christ can never be taken away from me.  It's amazing how I can get caught up in the things of this world.  Why does it matter how many friends I have?  MY dreams?  How amazing my house looks?  How many people follow me on _____?   These are tough questions to answer, as they have held a huge importance in my life.  These are all good things, but as I answer them I feel silly and selfish when I realize the importance they hold in my life.

A few questions the pastor asked at the end of his sermon on being lukewarm.  

Do you spend more time thinking about making money and managing it, than how you can be a blessing to others?

When I struggle, or am tempted, do I want to face it alone?  Do I allow others to come beside me, do I search the word for counsel?  Do I gather people around me who will tell me what Christ says, not what the world says?

When I have small sins that linger in my soul, do I find myself with the desire to repent of them, or do I find myself excusing them away?

When I look at what really matters, I realize how rich I am.  I have Christ.  He has forgiven me and continues to forgive me.  I have an amazing family that God has given me.  I have friends that point me to truth and encourage me spiritually.  He has given me enough...maybe not everything I want, but most definitely everything I need.  

"Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline.  So be earnest and repent.  Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. "

Revelation 3:20

Our God is Able!

{photo from pinterest}

Fail. Fail. Fail.  

That's what the devil wants me to believe about myself...that I'm a failure as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter, or as a friend.  I have to tell you the last few days have been very discouraging for me.  Through the trenches of motherhood, I have been frustrated, discouraged, easily irritated and exhausted.  I keep thinking when I lay my head down at night that the next day will be better.  I sleep in..."forget" read my bible, "forget" to pray, and get stuck in the pit of self-pity all over again.  And finally, after the third day, I remember WHO to turn to.  

I love you.  I accept you.  I FORGIVE you.  

That's the gift that God has given me.  Why do I so easily forget that when trouble comes???  I'm so thankful that He picks us up when we are struggling, comforts us in His arms, forgives us of our sins and gives us the strength to get through any trial.  As much as I hate to face my failures, my insecurities, and my shortcomings...I am also thankful for them because it teaches me that I can't do anything in my own strength.  It reminds me who to look to for strength  love, patience, wisdom, security and comfort.

I'm so thankful He goes before us and will never forsake us!

" Be strong and courageous.  Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you.  He will not leave you or forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31.6

The lyrics to this song have been such a blessing to me today...

God Is Able - Hillsong

God is Able

He will never fail

He is almighty God

Greater than all we seek

Greater than all we ask

He has done great things

Lifted up, He defeated the grave

Raised to life, our God is able

In His name, we overcome

For the Lord, our God is able

God is with us

God is on our side

He will make a way

Far above all we know

Far above all we hope

He has done great things    

He will go before

He will never leave us

God is for us

He has open arms

He will never fail us