Take all I am, Lord, and all that I cling to
You are my Savior I owe everything to
Take all the treasures that lie in my storehouse
They cannot follow when I enter Your house
So I surrender all to You
I surrender all
Take all my cravings for vain recognition
Fleshly indulgence and worldly ambition
I want so much Lord to make You the focus
To serve You in secret and never be noticed
Take all my hunger for all that’s forbidden
Every desire and sin I keep hidden
Search me and know me I want to bring to You
A life that is holy and sanctified through You
Words and music by Rich Dalmas
© 2004 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)
Hi! My name is Marcy Wright. Tamara and I went to college together although we didn't know each other. Somehow I stumbled across her blog through a mutual friend, and I have so enjoyed her Mom Series! It was emotional and encouraging to have this opportunity to share my story of motherhood.
I had always dreamed of becoming a wife and mom. God answered both of those prayers on March 27, 2010. I married the love of my life and became a stepmom to two beautiful girls, K (age 6) and A (age 4).
My husband and I had similar Christian upbringings in different parts of the Twin Cities in Minnesota, but after we each finished high school we went down two totally different paths. I went to a Christian college to find a husband and a degree, and he went off to have fun. The Lord did not allow me to meet my husband at college, and the Lord allowed my husband to become a father to two girls (from two different relationships). I am so thankful that God is sovereign and only down what is best for us ---Even when we don't understand why He allows some things to happen. I am blessed He chose to bring my husband to the church I attended, and we were introduced by mutual friends. God had been doing a miraculous work in my husband to be And I knew that we needed each other to sanctify each other and to glorify Himself more. (that is a whole other story in itself!) :) But God also wanted these two little girls to have me for a stepmom.
We have a lot of fun together! The girls are so sweet and gifted in their own ways. K is gifted musically like my husband, and A is gifted academically like my husband We live life as normal as possible whether it be going to church or the library, making our own family traditions, and celebrating a multitude of holidays (whether it be on the actual day or a few days before or after). I love having them with us when they are able (we have legal joint custody of one of the girls, but nothing is legally set up for the other). But sharing is hard. And sometimes I have wanted all or nothing! Sharing your children that you love is VERY hard at times (on both sides) in may ways. We've gone through times of not being able to see our girls because their moms have been unhappy with us. We are only in control of things that go on in our home. We have no control over what they are taught or what they see, or do, or hear when they are in their other home, and that can be concerning. But God knows and is in control of all of that, and how much time we have with our girls. We have had some good gospel opportunities with them, but neither understands their need of a Savior, yet. I pray God opens their hearts and minds soon!
One of the biggest struggles I have faced is the jealousy I and the other moms have had. Being a mom and being called "mom" is a very special gift. The Lord is growing me, but I have struggled for a long time with what my role actually is. The don't call me mom, except for very random times, or when they are writing me a note (which I love). And their mothers have voiced jealousy over the place I have in their daughter's lives. We all love these girls so much, and we want to be their special "mom". I have cried and prayed, screamed and received counsel. And I have come to realize that I am not their mom. But God has me in their lives for a very special reason. First and foremost to show them Christ and the Gospel. And I am also in the lives of their moms for that same reason. The Lord has really grown my relationships with their moms over the last several months. It has been difficult and hurtful, but God is changing me and He's changing them (whether they realize He is or not). I can honestly say that I love their moms, I want them saved, and I want to be used to bring them the gospel in word and deed. That's only of God! If you would have asked me last year at this time if I felt that way, I would have said "No, but I am praying for God to change my heart." And He has! It's amazing!
So when I am tempted to lose heart in this role as a stepmom, when I miss the girls because they are at their other homes, when I wish we could be involved in their overall development, when I wish they would just call me "mom",
I surrender. And I pray...
I want so much Lord to make You the focus
To serve You in secret and never be noticed.
If I could encourage any of you, please let me know. I would love to hear your stories. (firstname.lastname@example.org)