Thirty-One

Last week we celebrated my birthday and I turned thirty one.  I feel like Landon and I just got married, yet at the same time I physically feel more like 40.  

I always said Landon and I would enjoy married life before having kids....

 That I would never have kids after 30....

That I would only have two kids....

That I would never go "let myself go".....

Well God had other plans for our family, and I'm so thankful he did!

Brooke was our honeymoon baby (on birth control), and #2 and #3 turned out to be twins.  I'm pregnant with Number FOUR!  My belly is expanding by the day, and sometimes I struggle to keep up with my beautiful and energetic girls.  

Yep, I'm that mom that wears workout clothes in public and forgets to put on makeup sometimes.  My makeup routine consists of eyeliner and mascara....eyeshadow for "special" occasions.  I have tried every foundation, BB Cream, and tinted moisturizer there is, but my skin is ultra sensitive and they don't work for me.  So mascara and eyeliner it is - there are permanent bags and wrinkles that just can't be hidden.

BUT....

I wouldn't trade my life for anything, or wish to be in my twenties again.  Each year has brought great blessings.  Those bags under our eyes represent four special gifts that God has given us.  Our children.  We didn't get a chance to be "free"...but life with children has been amazing for us and has taught us SO much about ourselves and about how faithful our God is. I would give anything up for my kids...my time, my energy, my dreams.  For Landon it represents how hard he works for our family.  I'm so thankful for a husband that provides for our family, takes care of us and shows us his love. He is such an example to me and the kids of our heavenly Father.

 These stretch marks represent God's handiwork - the opportunity to experience the miracle of life and feel a baby growing inside me.  Those marks are not ugly, but beautiful and I have grown to appreciate and accept them.

I'm so thankful for another year....one that I am really looking forward to!  Every day is a gift from God!

Meet Baby Beaux

Isn't he so handsome?  We were so excited to meet our sweet nephew Beaux this last weekend, and I was so honored to take a few photos of him in the hospital.  I wanted to share a few of these special memories with you...

So tiny.  So new. So sweet.

A mother's love.  So amazing.

A sweet and beautiful new family.

Sweet baby feet and fuzz.  It all goes by so quickly, you forget how little they were...

I enjoyed standing back and watching every moment....so much love and happiness.  

We are so proud of you Derek & Molly!  Congratulations!!!

Twins at Three

THREE years old.  I still can't believe it!  I never got a chance to take their three year old photos, and these kind of came about as an accident.  I was trying to take a sister pic with Brooke in the middle, but she wasn't in the picture taking mood.  I did get a few of the twins that I absolutely LOVE and wanted to share them with y'all!

Silly.  Only Lauren would pick her nose.  This photo session lasted about five minutes - and all I did was click away while they did their own thing. I love how silly, playful, sweet and fun these two are with each other.

Sweet memories - each their own little person, yet so much alike.  What a gift they have in each other as constant companions and friends!

"half-baked"

Well we made it to the HALFWAY mark!  Every time I feel our sweet baby kick, I smile.  Which is a great thing....the last couple weeks have been a little rocky around here for me physically.  I have also really struggled with worry, fear and discouragement.   God is good ALL the time, and I can definitely say that I have been worse.  I'm really trying to enjoy this last pregnancy, soak in all the happy times, and trust in God to take care of my family.  God has reminded me over and over again how blessed we are.  How He always takes care of His children, and that HIS plans are best.  Those little kicks are a constant reminder to me of how amazing He is. 

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." 

Isaiah 26:3

I have my "big" ultrasound in two weeks....I can't wait to see our little guy in detail!  Of course I will update with pictures!!!

We are excited about preparing for our sweet little boy. Here is a little collage of a few of my favorite things....

My Girls // Summer is hard.  It's hot, we are bored, and I can only do so much physically.  Sometimes I feel guilty that I can't be "super mom" (or even normal mom) to them, but they know that I love them and that's what matters!  I have watched them adapt, and learn to play together.  Brooke is the Mommy, Lauren is the Daddy and Lily is the Baby.  And it's a HOOT.  Whenever the twins see me in pain or sick, they come and put their hand on my belly and tell me they love me.  It just doesn't get any better than that.  

Ralph Lauren // I love when my girls wear their clothes, but I have always gazed longingly into the baby boy section at the store.  It's just my favorite...there was a GREAT sale at the outlet in Texas and I just couldn't resist this cute polo.

Target // I have some pretty sweet friends that are throwing me a little baby shower.  I feel so honored and blessed.  I know this is my FOURTH baby after all.  :)  I registered for a few things at target, and received a great goodie bag with free products and coupons!!!

Boots //  Who knew the North Face made infant booties???  I just couldn't resist...

Diapers // I decided to order some diapers from The Honest Company.  They are plant based, non toxic disposable diapers AND they come in the cutest patterns! I used a 40% off coupon on my first "bundle" and then cancelled my subscription after I received my first shipment.  I'm excited to try them out!

Baby Steals // I'm not sure if any of you sign up to receive alerts from Baby Steals or not, but I LOVE their deals!  They have deals on great products like Aden + Anais, Petunia Pickle Bottom and Ergo!

***name update - we are still debating - this baby will have a name, even if it's after he arrives!***

Molly {a letter from a "mom to be"}

Meet Derek & Molly :: They are expecting their first little boy, Beaux in July!  Aren't they adorable?!?  I asked Molly to write a "Mom Series" post for me as an expecting mother.  These two....they LOVE kids and are so great with them.  My girls adore their Uncle D and Aunt MoMo.  The love that they have for their nieces and nephews is so amazing, I know that the love that they will have for their little boy will be far beyond measure.  Here's the letter that Molly wrote to her precious Beaux....

Dear Beaux,

Right now as I write this you are kicking me, which isn't saying much since this happens ALL the time with you.  Since I have been able to feel you kick on Valentines Day, you do it all day long.  Such a reassuring feeling that I will miss!!!

People are all about giving you advice when you are pregnant!  Which can be great and also tiring...

The greatest advice I have received is to cherish the moments that you are in.  I want to make sure to put this into action.  I do not want to wish away stages of your life.  As I sit here and look at my very round and growing belly, I'm reminded of this advice.  I've already found myself wishing away pregnancy so I can see you, but I need to enjoy the moments I have you all to myself while I can!  The last few months of this are not comfortable I will have to say...but I wouldn't trade it for anything!  The kicks and rolling make everything completely worth it.  I am so blessed that God decided to make me your mommy and I don't want to wish this part away!  The only time it's just me and you all the time.  :)

I honestly didn't think I could get pregnant, we weren't trying but God knew what was best for us, and knew this time was perfect.  We are going to have to grow up and raise a baby!  I can't say I am ready, because I'm definitely not!!!  But God said I am, and gave me one of the greatest gifts...YOU!  My whole life I dreamed about being pregnant and being a mommy, it's really what I've always wanted to do.  I love children, and I can't believe I finally will have one of my own that I will love even more than I can ever imagine.  I am so incredibly grateful for what God has given me and I don't want to take a single minute for granted!

I can't wait until you are out and I can see your precious face, but until then I'm going to take this time to appreciate your precious kicks, hiccups, hitting and rolling that you like to do so well!  I know that I'm going to miss being pregnant and feeling you inside of me, and I don't want to wish that away.  I can't wait until you can crawl, walk, talk to me, and until you play a sport I can take you to.  So many memories, I want to treasure each stage you are in and remember everything I can, which means I must pretty much write everything down!

Love,
Mommy

His Plans...

When I look at these photographs, tears come to my eyes.  Being a mom of three can be a struggle at times, but the blessings definitely outweigh those hard times.  I am also reminded of how great His plan is for each of us is.  When Landon and I got married, we "planned" to wait a couple years to start trying to get pregnant.  Well, God had something greater for us and her name was Brooke.  Even on birth control, I became pregnant with her soon after our wedding.  That day wasn't full of excitement for Landon and I.  We sat on our couch crying, wondering how we were going to be parents.  It took a few days for us, but we started to get excited about our little "bean".  We also weren't prepared for the horrible pregnancy I was about to encounter.  During my pregnancies I suffer from hyperemesis gravidarum.  I spent several times in the emergency room, and a couple overnight stays in the hospital getting fluids during this pregnancy.  God was so good to us and kept Brooke perfectly healthy.  She is such a blessing to us with her sweet spirit and loving heart.  

We knew we didn't want Brooke to be an only child, but our plan was to have only two children close together.  We tried for almost 8 months, which I know isn't that long compared to many of you, but it seemed like an eternity to us!  We were overjoyed when we found out we were expecting again.  Those next couple weeks were a trial for us as I was extremely sick, and was in the emergency room for a LOT of bleeding.  I went to Tulsa for HCG tests every other day, since there was no other way to tell if the pregnancy was still viable.  At 8 weeks, we waited in the ultrasound room just praying that the baby was alive.  Not only did we see one babies heartbeat, we saw TWO.  God had blessed us greatly, and again we saw that our plans are not always HIS plans.  Our family was about to go from three to five!  Countless emergency room visits, hospital stays, trips to the cancer treatment center for nutrients, many precious prayers and twenty weeks of bed rest later we met our beautiful twin girls Lily & Lauren.  They were born at 36 1/2 weeks and never saw the NICU.  Wow, His goodness, love and strength are so amazing.

Brooke is almost five, and the twins will be three in June!  I can't believe how fast the time has gone by.  I sometimes questioned if we would have another baby in the future.  Over the last six months, I had a peace in my heart that we would not be having any more children.  I was a little sad, but after potty training the girls and selling every baby item we had in our home I knew that I was ready to focus on the girls and our future together. 

 Did I mention that our plans are not always HIS plans???

Rewind to April Fools Day.  I have been having some problems physically (to spare the details) since the twins were born.  Even though I didn't think it was possible, I had an overwhelming feeling to take a pregnancy test.  I packed the kids up in the car and headed to wal-mart.  Yep.  You guessed it.  It was positive.  

Is my husband going to believe me, it's April Fools???

What are we going to do?

We just sold EVERYTHING baby!

What is everyone going to think about us???

Sigh.  Sadly, those were the first thoughts that came to mind.  I called Landon (i wish i had that conversation recorded) and he brought home more tests.  Yep, no false positives.   It took a few hours to get over the shock.  It was a comfort to know that God wouldn't give us anything we couldn't handle, and this was no surprise to Him!  Children are blessings, and I know He is going to give us everything we need to take care of this little one. We saw the doctor a few days later and our little baby was 6 weeks old!  He or she will be here right before Thanksgiving! Believe it or not, Landon is hoping for another girl!  We will be equally excited either way, although I would love to experience that mother/son relationship!

The girls are all of course, expecting a little sister and love talking about the baby!

Thanks to medication, I am feeling a lot better than my other pregnancies.  I have gotten to see our little baby 3 times already, and it never gets old.  Seeing his/her little heart beating is the most amazing miracle.  We have had amazing family and friends encourage us along the way.  I'm so thankful for His blessings, and that His plan that is greater than anything I could ever imagine.  

Our sweet baby at 10 weeks - may be a soccer player - look at that kick!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE."

-Jeremiah 29:11-

Doubly Blessed...

In June the girls will be THREE years old.  I still am amazed daily at the amazing gift God has given us by blessing us with twins.  Sure, they have their moments, but the love that these two share is just amazing.  They are always looking out for one another and are partners in crime.  It's amazing how much they look alike, but how different their little personalities are developing.  

Lily Reese.  We always wanted a boy, but God decided to bless us with three girls, and we are SO thankful and wouldn't have it any other way.  Lily is like a boy.  Wild, free, crazy, sporty and adventurous.  She takes after Landon.  Lily would wear her OU jersey and tennis shoes every day if I let her. She does have a soft side, and loves to touch.  If you are holding her, her hand will be on your face, on your neck, or rubbing your back.  It's just the sweetest thing and she has the softest hands.  Lily was "baby a" in the womb.  She was the wild and crazy one doing summersaults in my belly, and that's why we named "baby a" Lily Reese since Reese means "enthusiastic".  Her name suits her well.  

Lauren Grace.  She is our girly girl...sweet, sensitive, emotional and prissy.  She is Brooke's biggest fan and repeats everything that comes out of Brooke's mouth (good or bad).  She would love to live in a dress and her princess heels!  She is also our little comedian, and will go around the house pulling down her pants and flashing us her bottom (I don't know where she got that from!).  People always ask us how we tell them apart.  Lily has a chipped front tooth, and Lauren has one dimple.  Other than that, I still get confused if I don't take the time to look.

Yes...I get stressed.  I have 2 year olds x 2.

Yes....I get tired.

Yes....I have my hands full (if only had a dollar for every time I heard that)!

BUT, I am truly blessed with three girls who are all amazing in their own and unique way.  

Our Experience Potty Training the Twins {3-day method}

Well....it's official.  For the first time in 4 1/2 years we will not be making runs to target to purchase diapers.  Our first experience potty training Brooke was a breeze - such a breeze that I didn't even remember the details.  We put big girl panties on her and she never looked back....I think it took her a day but she WANTED to use the big girl potty.  Lily and Lauren sort of had a fear of the potty when I tested it out previously.  I didn't feel a pressure to PT the girls, but after talking to several moms about their experience using the "3-day potty training" method, I knew we should try before they got any older.  It was a quick decision but I knew if I didn't commit to start this now, I would keep putting it off.  So Saturday (feb 16) Landon and I decided to start Sunday morning.  This required not being able to leave the house for 3 (or more) days, constant supervision and LOTS of panties.  If you decide to try this method, I would recommend starting on a day that your husband is home....and don't pick the same week you have a business meeting at your home, 260 cupcakes and two cakes to complete.  We lived through the experience through many tears (mostly on my part) and looking back I'm thankful that we pushed through those very long days.  

Here's what our three days looked like...

Sunday - We started off the morning explaining to Lily & Lauren that they will no longer wear diapers but would be wearing big girl panties.  All the diapers were going in the trash (more for us so we couldn't turn back).  They cried.  They loved their diapers.  We rolled up the rug in the living room and moved all the furniture out.  This is where we camped out for almost three days.  This is also where I cleaned up a lot of bodily fluids.  Thank goodness Landon was home.  He worked with them on the potty while I cleaned up the messes.  Just a funny picture for you....just imagine this scenario in your head.  Of course the twins do everything together.  So Lily would start to potty on the floor...we would pick her up and take her to the potty to finish. As Landon is taking her to the bathroom, Lauren is running behind him slipping and sliding all over the place.  In Pee.  This happened several times and is now funny to me...but was not funny at the time.  I started to feel crazy by the end of the day.  

Monday - First day alone.  Thankfully GiGi came to the rescue and took Brooke on Sunday and took her to school Tuesday morning.  Please if you try this, get help with the other kids you are not training.  All of your attention will be focused on the ones you are training.  There was not much improvement, and I was alone, frustrated and tired.  I called Landon that afternoon and told him I was going to quit and buy diapers.  They weren't getting it.  Thankfully I have a great support system - both Landon and my friend Melissa encouraged me to keep going....to be patient and they will get it.  Landon came home, I went to Target to aimlessly walk around and clear my head.  We put the girls to bed and I prayed Tuesday would be better.

Tuesday - The morning started out with dry pull-ups (I didn't take the plunge to have them wear panties at night)! We only had one accident that morning, and woke up from naps dry.  There was an accident that afternoon and that was the last time I cleaned up the floor.  From that point on, they came to me and told me they had to go potty. They woke up from naps/nighttime dry and went #2 in the potty. Epic. I had my serious doubts with this system, but it honestly worked!

Since last Tuesday we have had only one accident during nap time.   I was nervous that we wouldn't be able to leave the house for a while because of the public restroom situation, but it hasn't been a problem.  The girls tell me when they have to go and (cringe) use the public restrooms like champs.  I'm sure there will be a few accidents along the way but they are doing FABULOUS with this big girl stuff.

Here are a few tips from our experience:

• Let them have the accidents.  They will learn to associate that urge to go, with the toilet when you take them as soon as they start to "go".  That's why you have to be constantly watching them...so you can catch it! 
• Don't ask them if they have to go potty.  Just remind them to keep their panties dry, and to let you know if they need to go potty.  Be prepared to say that phrase 274 times a day.
• Buy lots of panties, and don't use big sisters.  She will not like to share her panties.
• Find a reward that your kids love.  For #1 we used m&m's.  For #2/waking up dry we used disney princess tattoos.  The girls really loved it.
• Keep the disinfectant spray and paper towels close by.
• Be patient - they can tell when you are frustrated.  Try to stay positive and encouraging.  
• Ask for help with your non potty training kids (at least during the day).  Trust me on that one.
• Have a lot of activities/snacks/drinks on hand to get you through the day.  You want them to have a lot of opportunities to "potty" so they can catch on quicker. 
• Remember that it's okay if you don't clean/cook/shower/wear makeup/fix your hair for three days.  It's only three days.  No one will see you, unless you go to Target for a break...then  it is inevitable that you will see someone you know.
• Also remember that although you will be saving $$$, you will also have to visit every public restroom for the next couple years.  Invest in lots of hand sanitizer.

If any of you want to try this method, but need encouragement please don't hesitate to email or call me. I would love to help you along the way!  

18 month Update

I still have a hard time believing we have been blessed with twins. I look at these girls everyday and am so thankful for the joy they have brought to our lives! I have been given the amazing opportunity to watch them become their own little people...each with their own personality. They have a special little bond with each other...they look for each other when they wake up in the morning and do almost everything together. In a few blinks they will be 2...time is going by so quickly and I am trying to soak in these sweet moments with my "babies".