Learning to TRUST

Wow...I feel like we are finally getting back to "normal" after the last few weeks at the Miller Infirmary. :O)  We made it...thanks to all your prayers and encouragement.  The prayers, emails, texts, calls and meals from our family and friends was such a blessing to us. 

Last Thursday, Lauren woke up with a different rash all over her body.  It was different, on top of the other rash she already had, and it happened overnight.  I was terrified.  Landon drove home to take her to the doctor.  She ended up having an allergic to the medication she was on.  Thankfully, after a couple days on steroids, she finally started improving. 

The last couple weeks I have really struggled as a mom.  I have allowed exhaustion, loneliness and frustration to affect my attitude and actions.  I felt like I have just been a terrible mother to the girls.  We are just trying to keep our heads above the water sometimes...and some days I feel like I don't get to invest in their lives the way I want to.  

This morning, I was really looking forward to my meeting with my sweet friend Terri.  I knew she would have wisdom and encouragement for this weary mommy! We are going through a book called "Don't make me count to three" by Ginger Plowman.  As I was reviewing the chapter this morning before she came over I came across this...

"Right attitudes are not issues of the emotions.  They are issues of the will, which means that a child can choose to be happy and content." "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

SO convicting.  I realized that I have been making a choice to let my emotions and circumstances rule my life.  I need to have a happy heart and a joyful spirit regardless of the situation or trial I am in.  I "feel" like a terrible mom.  The truth that Terri reminded me of this morning...God is SOVEREIGN.  He has a perfect plan for my girls...and nothing that I do will thwart that plan.  I know that I am doing the best I can, and I know that he will give me the strength and grace for any situation.  I need to trust Him for strength and wisdom, and HE will take care of my children.  It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders when I heard that truth.  I am going to mess up...but I am so thankful that God is there to walk beside me every step of the way.  

Hope that this simple truth will be an encouragement to someone who is struggling with the same thing...I know it was to me today!

Sovereign One (Sovereign Grace)

When I'm all alone and afraid

I will trust in YOU
For you watch over my ways
When things in my life don't make sense

I will trust in You

For you are GOOD, you are good

Sovereign One

You work all things to your plan

Sovereign One,

You hold all things in your hands

When I don't get to have my own way

I will trust in You

For you know what is best

When tears begin to roll down my face

I will trust in You

For you are Good, you are good

PERFECT in Power, You control all things

Perfect in Wisdom, You know everything

Perfect in goodness

Jesus, You're so good to me