Our home is right now the Miller Infirmary. I may have washed my hands 74 times yesterday. I thought we had gotten past every "major" flu or cold between us...until Friday came along.
Last week we stayed home most of the week. I wanted the girls to get better completely, and we have been trying to save every dime...so there wasn't really any need to go out. I was excited about the weekend...we had no plans, and I was hoping we could do something fun as a family. The girls took an unusually long nap on Friday. When I got Lily out of bed she was covered in sores and had a high fever. By bedtime, the sores were open and blistery. I stressed, but decided it was best to wait until morning to see her Dr. Saturday morning Lauren was covered in sores. We all got dressed and went to the Doctor. He said it was a viral rash, and that the girls didn't have the sores in their mouth so he didn't think it was Hand, Foot & Mouth disease. He prescribed antibiotics and we were on our way. Sunday morning Brooke woke up with the rash, and I am sure it is very painful for her because it is in her mouth. She doesn't have a high pain tolerance, so yesterday was a pretty rough day for her...and us. She also suffers night terrors, and wakes up at least 4 times a week screaming "no" and "stop"...it is hard for me to wake her up and calm her down. The fever has made those nightmares worse, because last night I was up with her at least once every hour.
Doesn't this just break your heart? This was the rash that is all over Lily & Lauren's bodies. Face...arms, legs, bottoms. Blessing: The girls were smiling, laughing and playing through it all. Not one "complaint". My tough babies.
Landon & I are feeling well...just sleep deprived, exhausted, and I have a little bit of cabin fever. I better get used to it...because we won't be leaving the house until the girls are completely better. We'll be eating pizza rolls and peanut butter and jelly's, or whatever I can scrounge up from the freezer. :O) I am actually out of butter...can you believe it?!? Probably better that way. I knew that frozen turkey from Thanksgiving would come in handy. We might just have a thanksgiving feast tonight!
I really struggled the last few days. Struggled with feelings of loneliness, frustration and doubt. Landon sat down with me last night and read James 1. It was the perfect passage for me to hear...and while I was up all throughout the night I kept thinking of some basic truths about who God is to get me through and re-direct my focus.
GOD is GOOD - SO good. He is good when all my girls healthy, and when they are sick. I need to treasure these moments He has given me to take care of my little girls, whether they are sick or healthy. He has blessed us with these small physical trials in comparison to many people that I know. He is GOOD.
GOD is LOVE - When I feel alone or rejected...God LOVES me. When I fail, and He forgives me. His mercies are new every morning. I can't make everyone happy...that is not what my focus should be. It should be on pleasing Him and doing what is right.
GOD is WITH ME - He is here to guide me and give me strength to make it through each day. Some days or weeks will be harder than others, but He will hold my hand if I choose to allow Him to. HE is my support and stronghold. When I feel lonely, I am not alone...He is here beside me.